Tuesday, September 28, 2010

In Which my Blog is Blogged

This is funny. I'm at a library computer, and I search engined my name like I always do to get to my blog quickly on public computers.

Guess what came up?

On this website: http://kevinrenick.com/News.php

(which is the website of musician Kevin Renick), my blog was mentioned! Why? Oh, because a while back I quoted the lyrics to his song, "Up in the Air," saying that they pretty much described my life. Well, whoever runs his website must have googled his name and my blog must have popped up!

Why am I excited about this? Because it's the first bit of publicity for my blog! Not that I want it to become famous or anything (Julie & Julia style), it's just neat to see that people are actually looking at it.

Here's what was actually said about my blog on the website, in case you don't want to scroll down that far. It's not much, really, but it's something:


--Two more blogs feature the lyrics to "Up in the Air" and the author's favorable comment. First up is Holly Gruntner's personal take: http://staygoldponyboy88.blogspot.com/2010/06/up-in-air.html You rule, Holly!

An Ordinary Monday

Yesterday was a usual Monday for me. I woke up earlier than I wanted to, sat through (and even enjoyed) four classes, and at 5 p.m. I went to dinner with my friends

It was only at dinner when I first heard part of the news: My friend Aaron, who's living this year in Blakely Hall, told me that all of the residents had been evacuated around 4 p.m. because of a 'gas leak.' They had been noticing an off smell for a few days, but no one said anything until the janitor reported it.

Walking out of Food Service, I bumped into my friend Phil, who's also living in Blakely. He told me that he had also been banished from the dorm for the time being. Phil didn't know anything about a gas leak, however; when the CA told him to leave, she only said that she couldn't tell him why he had to.

I thought it was a little strange that Aaron and Phil's stories didn't correspond; why wasn't Phil told that there was a gas leak like Aaron was? I didn't think much of it, however, until I got a text from Phil a few hours later:

"A kid died in Blakely. They just brought the body bag out to the ambulance, and the Chancellor is coming to talk to us about it."

An email was sent out through the Morris list serv. late last night:

I am writing to share very sad news. One of our students, xxxxxx,
was found dead in his residence hall room this afternoon.

UMM Campus Police, Morris Police, and Stevens County coroner xxxxx have responded. A standard medical/legal death investigation is
underway. There did not appear to be any suspicious circumstances
surrounding the death or any health or safety concerns for the campus
community.

xxxxxx was a senior enrolled full-time at UMM for fall semester 2010
as a philosophy major. He was 24 and from Baxter, MN.

Student Counseling staff are available to meet with students and other
members of the campus community. The office is open Monday through Friday
from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. To reach Student Counseling after 4:30 pm.,
please call Campus Police at 320-287-1601. Their services are free and
confidential.

As always if you receive media inquiries, please refer them to University
Relations, 320-589-6398.

This is a sad time for our campus. We extend our condolences to xxxxx's
family and friends.


-End email-

The xxx's were added by me, just so you know.

So it seems that while I was plodding through my ordinary Monday, someone was lying in a dorm room nearby, never to get up and walk out again.

I apologize if I sound blunt about all this. I don't feel blunt about it.
It's so horrible. Just imagine-the body wasn't even found until about three days after the student died.

Last night all I could think about was that the student's parents were going to be getting a call soon. And after that call, as I continue to imagine, his parents are going to have to continue living their lives with the knowledge that they sent a son off to college one year, and he never came back.

Today, campus seems ordinary. So far there are no signs of grief, no extra whisperings before class starts, no huddled groups clustered on the mall. The flag isn't at half mast.

Someone's missing, though, and I suspect that we're all feeling the loss, even as we go about our ordinary Tuesday.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Wednesday Night Apple Crisp

Current Location: Briggs Library Writing Room

Just Ate: Apple crisp; they had three huge pans of it downstairs for some reason. The librarians were wandering up and down the floors encouraging people to go down and eat some, so I did! It was certainly delicious, that random, Wednesday-night apple crisp.

Just talked to: Some random lady on the phone. She called the library asking for writing advice, and then the librarian came up to the writing room to get me so I could speak to her (they didn't know the number to transfer her up). I picked up the receiver, and all of the sudden the woman is throwing sentences at me, asking me to help her identify the subject and the predicate. Subject and predicate (I exclaimed to myself)! I haven't learned about those since elementary school! I remembered somehow, however, and was able to help her out.

She wasn't done yet, though; as a child screamed in the background, the woman began to complain about how schools give assignments and just expect children to be able to do them without help. She berated teachers for not wanting to be contacted with questions after hours, and for telling kids not to bring their textbooks home (which makes it hard for parents to assist their children).

I understood her points, and she really wasn't nasty about any of it; it just amused me that she was talking to me of all people about such things. I'm simply a student worker who's job it is to help other students improve their papers for class! I work in a tiny room on the 3rd floor, I'm not a mother, and it's 9:30 p.m. What a random call to receive!

In retrospect, I think that the woman simply needed someone to vent to, and that I was the first person who seemed willing to listen. Fine with me. It's interesting experiences like this that make my life interesting, truthfully.

F. Scott Fitzgerald: Will have to settle for a shorter spiel than I originally intended to give. This Side of Paradise was amazing. It is now officially my favorite new book, mainly because it gave me so much to think about, both in terms of the ideas introduced in the novel, and in terms of how the novel itself was crafted.

Although Amory Blaine (the main character) is not necessarily a character to be admired, I found that I could relate to him in various ways, especially where his college experiences were concerned. He discovers so much about himself, and about the world in college, and yet these discoveries leave him reeling, and wondering what the true meaning of everything is.

And at the absoulte pinnacle of the book, Amory finds himself back before the spires of his Alma Mater. He leans his head back into the night and screams, "I know myself, but that is all-."

And that is exactly how I feel.

As good of an ending as the above is, I want to briefly add that F. Scott Fitzgerald was an absolutely marvelous writer. It's actually difficult to describe it, but the thing that strikes me the most is how observant he was as an author. Fitzgerald had a gift for character development; he effortlessly pieced people together until they were so complex that they were entirely real to readers.
Again, I don't think I'm explaining this very well. I think you should just read something of his for yourself. Start with The Great Gatsby, and then go from there. You'll like him, I promise.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Macbroke

The last time I posted, my Macbook worked perfectly fine.
Now it needs a new hard drive.

I guess I'll talk to you again when things are working (it's kind of weird to be blogging from a library computer, with several people breathing down my neck from nearby library computers).

Oh, and I also finished This Side of Paradise. Remind me to post about that!

Monday, September 13, 2010

How Not to Be an Adult

It's been a while, I know. In my defense, my 17 credits, 3 jobs, multiple extracurricular activities, and tendency to volunteer for additional fun-sounding things have suddenly caught up with me. I don't have a single day for about three weeks straight where I have nothing going on. It's ridiculous, but it's fun too; I'm meeting lots of new people, and really learning a lot about campus. It's quite nice to know the nuts and bolts of things going on around here.

You should know that I had a great plan for this post. While I was doing the reading for my honors class, I actually wrote some notes to be eventually pieced together into a cohesive entry. Now, though, of course, I have an entirely different frame of mind and don't feel like I can write about Plato's musings tonight.

Instead, I'll tell you about a disturbing incident that occurred at a faculty Division Meeting today. I was taking minutes, a job that I don't think I'm particularly good at, as I tend to get so interested in the conversation that I forget to type, and generally basking (as always) in the presence of so many scholars. I know, I know; professors are just people. But they are kind of fascinating, aren't they? They look so normal, and yet they have devoted their lives to research, and the pursuit of knowledge. It's sort of intimidating, actually.

Anyway, we had gone through all the things on the agenda, and were wrapping things up (following Robert's rules, of course), when a certain professor launched an attack on the division head (i.e. my boss, who is absolutely wonderful). He was going on about how she had formed a committee and not consulted certain people about who would be on the committee. This prof. was completely implying that my boss had deliberately chosen certain people to be on the committee so that her views would be represented, rather than choosing people who would do the best job. More professors chimed in, agreeing with the first prof.

My boss (I'm avoiding names here, as you have probably noticed) explained patiently that she had consulted the department heads, and they had given her a list of people, and that she was merely asking those listed people to join. She said that the committee was by no means finalized, and that she was trying to get representation from all the departments in order to have multiple perspectives.

A lot more was said that I truthfully did not understand (not knowing the back story as the rest of the profs. no doubt did), but I just felt so bad for my boss. I could tell she was genuinely shocked and appalled that people would be angry about her actions, and had ranted over them behind her back (as they had clearly done).

I may not know the full history, and I may not have spent a whole lot of time with my boss, but I have a good feel for people, and right now I feel like she did not intend nor attempt half the things she was being accused of.

I walked out of that meeting feeling rather sad; it's a shame that learned people such as that group of profs. would act like that, and treat a fellow colleague like that. It even makes me angry that they chose to launch their accusations in a public forum, instead of first raising their concerns to my boss privately.

It's funny how when you're a kid you think that adults are perfect, and that they never behave immaturely or irrationally. It's funny how as you get older you realize that they have as many faults as you do, and that it is true that some 15-year-olds are more mature than some 50-year-olds.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Goodbye to Teenage Holly

Hello everyone.
I am writing from my last few hours of being a teenager.
Now I know that you're as old as you feel, and that I'm not going to wake up tomorrow feeling any different than I feel right now.
But still.
20 years old.
Holy cow.
That's old.

I'm ending something tomorrow that I began when I was 13 years old. When I was just a little 7th grader.
It seems funny that my teenage years have spanned that distance. In fact, at this point, I don't even know what constitutes being a teenager. Is it the awkwardness? The bad hair and clothes? The 'changes?' The moodiness?

I'm inclined to think that being a teenager means that you're sort of discovering yourself. You're seeking out your niche in the world, and then you're filling it as best you can. You're changing your mind a lot, and you're figuring out what you like and don't like. You're making friends and losing friends and deciding that you can live without certain friends. You're dating. Or not. You're deciding who you want to date. You're deciding who you want to be for the rest of your life.

Well, I've decided. I've found the person that I want to be, and I've found the niche she fits into. My next task, I suppose, is to actually step into her shoes. She's not so very different from myself, actually. She's just a bit nicer, a bit more thoughful, confident, outgoing, responsible, productive, and hard-working. She's the best version of myself. Now I just have to learn how to be her 24 hours a day. It's certainly going to be a challenge.

So happy birthday to me (if you'll allow that).
Here's to the adult I'll eventually grow into.
May she have as many awkward, funny, wonderfully blog-worthy moments as teenage Holly has been blessed with.

Catch you on the flip side.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Spend a Day With Benjamin Franklin

Well, after nearly a whole day of reading Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography, I find that I have a newfound respect for the man. I mean, I knew he was brilliant before. I remembered from high school AP History that he sort of stormed the Founding Fathers and pushed through some points that were certainly important to push through. I'm afraid I don't remember any specifics.

I suppose if my vague history remembrances don't prove his worth, you can always look at his well-known scientific achievements. The guy flew a kite in a lightning storm, for goodness' sakes! If that doesn't make him a hero, I don't know what does.

Anyway, as I said, I liked Benjamin Franklin before I read his autobiography. Now I completely admire him. Just listen to a bit of his introduction:

"So would I if I might, besides correcting the Faults, change some sinister Accidents and Events of it for others more favorable, but tho' this were denied, I should still accept the Offer. However, since such a Repetition is not to be expected, the Thing most like living one's Life over again, seems to be a Recollection of that Life; and to make that Recollection as durable as possible, the putting it down in Writing. Hereby, too, I shall indulge the Inclination so natural in old Men, to be talking of themselves and their own past Actions, and I shall indulge it, without being troublesome to others who thro' respect to Age might think themselves oblig'd to give me a Hearing, since this may be read or not as any one pleases. And lastly, (I may as well confess it, since my denial of it will be believ'd by no body) perhaps I shall a good deal gratify my own Vanity. Indeed I scarce ever heard or saw the introductory Words, Without Vanity I may say, etc. but some vain thing immediately follow'd. Most People dislike Vanity in others whatever Share they have of it themselves, but I give it fair Quarter wherever I meet with it, being persuaded that it is often productive of Good to the Possessor and to others that are within his Sphere of Action: And therefore in many Cases it would not be quite absurd if a Man were to thank God for his Vanity among the other Comforts of Life."

What a guy. And he writes like that throughout his entire Autobiography, constantly referencing what he called his "Erratum," or his grave life mistakes, and earnestly (and oftentimes humorously) taking us along on his quest for self-improvement.
Benjamin Franklin strived to better himself in all ways, from experimenting with vegetarianism, to starting an academic club, to creating a respectful reputation for himself both in business and in personal dealings.
In fact, much of what I've read so far about Benjamin Franklin can be summed up in one of his quotes: "Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man."

Happy Labor Day everyone.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Reasons Why I'm Happy (A List)

I'm happy today. Happier than I've been in a long time. Not that I'm not a happy person in general, but this kind of bouncy, fizzy, spontaneous, wonderful happiness only comes around every so often, only lasts for a limited time, and only occurs for the following reasons:

1. It's Friday, the beginning of Labor Day weekend. Hence, I have no classes until Tuesday AND therefore have a short week next week.

2. Along with some dorm mates, tonight I have chosen to rebel against the hit-but-most-often-miss Food Service and make the trek to China Buffet instead.

3. The weather outside is my very favorite kind of weather; windy, mid-60's, sunny, and Fallish.

4. I'm wearing a comfy purple plaid shirt. Sometimes your clothes just make your day, I think.

5. Tonight is free movie night on campus, and District 9 is showing. Not that that particular movie exactly fits my happy mood, but how can you go wrong with a free movie? (Actually, I lied. The free movie last year was G-Force. That was very, very wrong).

6. Tomorrow I'm driving down to St. Paul with some friends to shop at bookstores, to eat Cossetta's pizza, and to generally revel in the glory that is a big city.

7. I got my first birthday card today! I'm turning 20 in 5 days, you guys! It's really happening, and I'm actually okay with it. Not that there's anything I can do to prevent my aging anyway.

8. I had a good time in class today. Didn't embarrass myself in German I, spoke up a few times in American Lit., and learned a great deal despite it being Friday and beautiful.