Never Let Me Go II

Quickly I want to tell you that I just finished Never Let Me Go.
I didn't cry at the end as I expected to. Instead, I felt (feel) quiet, like instead of filling me up with something, the book has left me empty. Grasping for understanding, I guess. But that is, I think, what the novel is about. Something out of your reach, something you were never meant to have, and how empty your life suddenly seems now that you've missed it. Or maybe it's the realization that you don't miss it even now that you're aware of its existence, because you weren't taught how to miss it. It's about missing the choice, or even the ability, to miss what you don't have.
Not a sad ending, really. It's simply bleak. And very, very beautiful. Here, I'll quote a bit for you:

"I half-closed my eyes and imagined this was the spot where everything I'd ever lost since my childhood had washed up, and I was now standing here in front of it, and if I waited long enough, a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field, and gradually get larger until I'd see it was Tommy, and he'd wave, maybe even call. The fantasy never got beyond that-I didn't let it-and though the tears rolled down my face, I wasn't sobbing or out of control. I just waited a bit, then turned back to the car, to drive off to wherever it was I was supposed to be."



Thank you to Mr. Ishiguro. It was a privilege to read, truly.