Free Write

Free Write

The fan is swishing
against my hair,
blowing the shadows on the wall
as well.
I hear a click as it turns
and recall that Mom got it at Pamida
two days ago
because I needed a fan
and because I needed more time
before she drove away
back home
and left me.
Sophomore year hasn't changed
that feeling when the van pulls away.
Sinking, stumbling,
turning away into an empty dorm.
No students yet but me.

Now the white fan makes
my tie-dye shirt wave
from the drying rack.
Downstairs, there is
three inches of water sitting in the
washing machine that I broke.
Three inches of blue tie-dyed water
that will sit there and sit there
until someone comes with a hose
and a toolbox and flushes it away.

Now the shiny white fan wrinkles
the empty mattress
on the empty side of the room.
I sit on my striped blanket
and watch that mattress
blue and vinyl
and wonder how the room will feel
when there is a blanket covering it
and a different pillow plump
at its foot.

Now the humming, shiny white fan
turns its face once more towards my hair
to toss it out of place
once more
and I sit alone in my dorm room
on my bed
and I wait for something to happen.